Answer
Hi there,
Thanks for getting in touch – and I am sorry that you’re having this difficulty. It’s a very common thing for parents to be at different stages in coming to terms with a child coming out – and I empathise this can be difficult for both of you.
You’re already doing the best thing you can by being accepting of your son’s news. Keep creating as safe and open place for him as you can to communicate with you. This is the most important thing for him. You can share this guide with him too, which has some useful info and tips on coming out which might be good for your son as he shares this news.
In terms of your husband, it is important to remember that coming to terms with a child coming out can be difficult for parents, and all feelings are valid. What often helps is giving your child’s other parent time to process their own feelings. Sometimes there can be a sense of grief for the life that they saw for you their child. That’s OK and their feelings are valid. You might encourage your husband to open up to your son and find out more, listen to your son’s feelings and ask how your son would like him to be there for him while he also works through his own feelings. You could also share this guide for parents with him, if he’s open to reading it.
Even if he’s not able to show support immediately, keeping things open and honest can really help. Give him time and allow him to process. You’re already doing something incredibly important by being there for your son, and that steady presence will make a huge difference as your family works through this together.
You can keep an eye on the news section of our website for in person events and webinars from our Family Support Service which could be useful for you and your husband.
I wish you both the very best! And if you have any other questions – get in touch with us here.
In Pride,
Edel