I am the parent of a 12 year old trans boy who is finding the transition to secondary school extremely stressful and hard. Do you have any youth groups for kids his age? Or services or advice you would recommend? He is depressed, anxious, and beginning to refuse to go to school and I don't know how to help him. 

Thank you so much for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear that your child is going through a tough time right now — that must be incredibly hard for both of you. 

It’s clear his mental health is being affected. A first port of call might be to connect with a counsellor or therapist who can support him in processing his feelings and building resilience during this transition. There are two free counselling options specifically available to young people which might be of interest: 

• Jigsaw is a national youth mental health charity offering free therapy and support to children and young people aged 12 to 25. https://jigsaw.ie/.  

• If you think your child might be at risk of self-harm or suicidal ideation, we also have a partnership with Pieta: https://www.belongto.org/counselling-service-pieta-house/  

It is also worth reaching out to your son’s school to highlight the difficulties you and your child are facing and explore where they may be able to help your son’s transition into secondary school. Try to have an open conversation with your child about this option and ensure they are as involved as they want to be in the process. Discussing his needs and hopes for next steps will make this process more manageable.  

Any issues highlighted by your child should be brought to the school’s attention, particularly if there is identity-based bullying happening. The Bí Cineálta anti-bullying procedures set out requirements for schools in tackling bullying, including the responsibility to prevent homophobic and transphobic bullying.  

It could be useful to discuss with the school what initiatives they are running to foster LGBTQ+ inclusiveness and whether there are other ways they can proactively support your child as well as all LGBTQ+ young people in their student community.  

Community is a really important factor in LGBTQ+ young people’s lives and for their wellbeing. Youth groups nationwide provide a space for LGBTQ+ young people to develop friendships, get support, and belong. It’s not always easy to find other LGBTQ+ folk. An LGBTQ+ youth group is a good place to start. You can find a list of youth services and groups right across the country here: https://www.belongto.org/find-a-youth-group/.  

Please remember — support is available for you too. For some parents and family members, it can be a challenging time when their child comes out as LGBTQ+. It is normal to feel confused, upset or that you don’t know enough.  If you’d like to talk to someone or get some further guidance, you can contact us directly at Family Support Service.  

Take care and reach out to us when you feel comfortable.